10 Life Lessons Before My 40th Birthday









In exactly 26 days I will enter the forth decade of life. I am in no way a touchy feely emotional or affectionate person but I have learned a lot of invaluable life lessons. As we celebrate a new year, I wanted to take the time to list out my to ten life lessons that have shaped my life.

1). The only person we are truly obligated to please is ourselves as we need to be able to look ourselves in the mirror and be pleased with the person we see.

People pleasing does not serve us.

2) In life there are no limitations.

We are capable of so much more than we believe. It is highly important to live with the mantra that your can do anything you put your mind to. No matter how outrageous you think it is. If you truly believe it you can achieve it. So many times we set ourselves up for failure with our negative thinking. We are all subconsciously taught to believe that we can do anything we put our minds to. But we are not taught to persist and continue to practice daily positive affirmations to truly manifest our dreams/goals. All too often we allow fear to win.

3) Not everyone deserves to know the real you. I have always kept a small circle of friends.

Over the years I have learned that not everyone has your best interest in mind. Each person we meet be it an associate or a friend will show you how they really feel about you through their actions. Sometimes what we see is not what we want to believe. So we push past that gut feeling and continue on with the relationship despite what we really feel. I have learned to trust people when they show you who they really are. Is it really worth having a large circle of friends if they don’t truly see you for who you are and love you despite your flaws and imperfections?Always trust yourself you are more intuitive than you think.

4) What inspires you is directly connected to your gift.

I used to think that you had to be formally educated in a particular field to to be successful. I have recently learned that is completely false. When I was younger I was drawn to being creative. I absolutely loved to draw cartoons. It was my form of self expression. The very act of drawing freed my soul as it was extremely relaxing. From a very early age it enabled me to feel alive. It sparked my initial desire to become a cartoonist and work for Disney.

This was but a dream as I let go of this aspiration because I allowed my fear of not picking a marketable enough career that would ensure that I had job longevity and security. I picked the more sensible career of nursing. Don’t get me wrong I have no regrets other the fact that I should not have given up the craft. I completely abandoning drawing.

As I look back, I could have minored in Art and continued to practice and hone my gift. There was absolutely no reason for me to completely abandon it. After 13 years, I had this longing desire for more. The answer was not obtaining an advanced degree. I had previously started the process and I knew that I would not achieve what I was looking for. Through trial and error it became more apparent that I need to nurture my creative side. It has not been easy but more and more I am begining to fill that void.

5). There are no time or age restrictions.

I never could have imagined myself where I am today. I  have achieved a lot in my professional career but I desire so much more. I feel that I am not defined by what I do. I am multi-diminsional and have a lot to offer the world in the creative space. I would have never categorized myself as a writer but i feel that I have allot to say and offer to the world.

For the past year I have been inspired to create a platform to express myself and provide valuable content on my wellness journey as well as life in general. In my friendships I have always played the role of the advice giver and influencer for products and wellness. My inspiration was validated by friends encouraging me to start a blog. After much negative self-talk I continuously convinced myself that it wasn’t a good idea. But with the help of a friend and an accountability action plan I am here. Despite my age and how it came about I have arrived at a place I could only have imaged a year ago. This whole experience has confirmed that we can be our worst enemy. We can only achieve the impossible when we believe in ourselves and push past our fear.

6) Self-care is not selfish.

For the longest time I thought I had to be a superwomen and do everything for my family without taking any time to myself to refuel. This is something that I am actively working on. We truly cannot pour from an empty vessel. This quote from Eleanor Brown, really hit home about three months ago.

7) Listen to your body.

Four years ago I was diagnosed with severe allergies and sinus issues. At the time I didn’t understand that my body was trying to tell me to change my eating habits. After much resistance, I finally listed and began to eliminate diary from diet. Disease doesn’t always come out of the blue. Oftentimes there are warning signs and symptoms. We just need to take time to listen. Headaches, aches, pain, allergies, and not normal. Symptoms are our bodies way of warning us that something is off. It’s up to us to be in tune with ourselves and listen.

8) Our skin is an outward reflection of our overall health.

A beautiful complexion and flawless skin starts from the inside out. Eating healthy and drinking water aids in clear healthy skin. Expensive complicated skincare regimens are not the answer. There are no miracle products for flawless skin. Less is more. Products with simplistic non-chemical laden ingredients are key. Advanced scientific formulations are often filled with toxins that can damage your skin.

9) We are each responsible for our own happiness.

Be it work, or personal relationships. We do not have to endlessly endure unhappiness. Far to often we do not realize that the power lies within us to change. My new mantra:

“I’m no longer accepting the things I cannot change… I’m changing the things I cannot accept.”

Angela Davis

10) I am one of a kind.

In life we often compare ourselves to those who appear to have everything together. Like Instagram, people only show us what they want us to see. They never share the hurt, pain, and struggles, that they secretly endure. As the saying goes, the grass is not greener on the other side. Be thankful for where you are in life and know that you were uniquely created. There is no one else like you. You are exactly where you need to be.  You are not comparable to anyone else. We are in control of our own narrative. If you want to make a change do it for yourself and not mirror someone else.

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